I'd rather get thrown off a cliff...
Studio: Studio Deen/Sony Music Entertainment
Written by: Face
Tekken is fluff, dilapidated fluff. As bizarre as it may sound, this movie is trashy even for video game anime adaptations. It's sloppy, congested, cross-grained, and downright boring; it's a failure all across the spectrum.
The film stodgily begins with Heihachi Mishima as he throws his son, Kazuya, off a cliff, ostensibly because he refuses to permit weakness in his own child. However, being a tough guy, Kazuya survives and hungers for revenge. Fast forward X amount of years, ignore numerous crucial details, and that's where Tekken really starts to kick it off into overdrive. Kazuya's father is now the head of a very big business, and has decided to host a martial-arts tournament. The winner has to face Mishima head-to-head for a massive cash prize. But can Kazuya defeat his father without falling pray to the "darkness" within his heart?
Immediately, problems start to arise. How has Kazuya survived for all of those years? Why is the female investigator so obsessed with helping him? What exactly is the source of the feud between Kazuya and his step-brother? Where did the male investigator come from, and why is he even needed? I could go on and on. Characters just start popping up out of nowhere. Countless subplots are left totally unanswered, and the entire story is led around by one-dimensional character squabbles.
Even where Tekken is supposed to succeed (the fight scenes) it fails. The entire movie is poorly animated at best, and the action sequences are incredibly unimaginative. Many of the fight scenes are over in a matter of seconds, it's pitiful. Others involve stealth dinosaurs and muscle-shirt-wearing androids, it's truly that bad.
Well, does Tekken have any redeeming qualities? The answer is no. This movie is a waste, a total waste of time and the effort put into watching it. When it comes down to it, not even fans of the Tekken series could enjoy this trash pile.
0 (Could Cause Brain Damage)
Posted: July, 2004